you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
