ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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