oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
