Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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