and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
