Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize