how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
