Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
