There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize