I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
