I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
