i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My pussy is not your playground.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize