this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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