Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
