Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
