did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
