you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
