It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
