she woke up with a sticky ear
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
