I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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