What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
