Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Buhtt sex?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize