omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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