It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
