her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my sisters under your porch take her home
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
50% drunk capacity currently
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
