Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
