oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
