He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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