Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
