Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
