This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
