I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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