she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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