The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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