she was so not down for the gang bang
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
