NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
