just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ttyl tear gas
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
