Grow some girl-balls and come out already
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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