wakey wakey hands off snakey
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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