R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
