I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
NoShamevember. You game?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
