toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
