His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
where are you?
Hypothermia
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
