sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
