I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i want to swaddle you in tequila
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
