Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.

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(573): View more from Missouri

My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"

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