Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
