Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
