I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
