i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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