cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize