like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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