why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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