I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
