Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
