ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
