would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
