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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ya

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I used to kick so much ass

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  What you up to?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Full throttle

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.

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• (516): View more from New York

  The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.

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• (845): View more from New York

  There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.

  (845): View more from New York

  Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  it's like his dick is making a u-turn.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"

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• (315): View more from New York

  Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"

  (602): View more from Arizona

  And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?

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