In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can I color on your dick again?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
