Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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