well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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