I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
