I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
