Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize