I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
