Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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