we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
