I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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