i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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