She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
